


Closure ; unrequited tsukiyama blurb

by rnasayuki



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Still sad though, Unrequited Crush, mentioned kuroken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 05:42:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7832539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rnasayuki/pseuds/rnasayuki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>this boy just wants some love</p>
            </blockquote>





	Closure ; unrequited tsukiyama blurb

**Author's Note:**

> trying 2 get rid of writers block for a fic i have planned

Yamaguchi sat silently, watching Tsukishima receive the ball from Nekoma during their practice match. He flinched gently as he watched Tsuki shoot a pointed glare at him. Yamaguchi looked away.

The whistle blew again. Shrinking slightly at the sound, he turned his attention back to Tsukki, who stood, slightly bent, waiting. His eyes followed the ball. He watched intently as Tanaka spiked, Kuroo receiving it near perfectly. Kenma set, and a boy who he didn’t know the name spiked, but it was easily blocked by Tsukki and Suga.

He was tired. He was sad, and sitting out only made him feel worse. Heaving a breath, Yamaguchi stood up, and moved towards the doors. He felt his teammates eyes burn the back of his head as he slid the door open, walking out without a word. He walked out into the grass, and sat down, laying on his back. He looked at the sky. It was growing darker as dusk took its grasps on the valley, carving way for the stars and the moon. He closed his eyes, thinking about the night before today’s practice match.

 

_ “Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asked, sliding Tsukishima’s door open slightly, peering in. Tsukki was at his desk, over a textbook and notebook, his head in his hands. “Tsukki.” Yamaguchi repeated, calling out a bit louder this time. His heart pounded in his chest as Tsukki turned to him, looking at him surprised. _

_ “Yamaguchi? What are you doing here?” _

_ “Your mom let me in, I… I need to talk to you.” His heart rate sped up. _

_ “About what? Volleyball? Or is it about the English test next week - I’m struggling so hard to figure out a few questions from the mock papers.” _

_ “No I just-” Yamaguchi shook his head, and slid into his friend's bedroom, walking over and sitting on his bed, brings his knees up to his chest. He hugged them, resting his forehead in between them. He heard Tsukki get up, setting down his pencil. A sudden weight was placed on the bed text to Yamaguchi, and a long arm was wrapped around his shoulders. Yamaguchi leaned into Tsukki, feeling the anxiety tear its way up his stomach, grabbing at his heart and climbing up his throat. It was now or never. He was here. Why couldn’t he say anything? The fear of rejection is overwhelming, he knew that before he came here. He came despite the anxiety he knew he’d feel, and the possibility of losing Tsukki as a close friend. He came anyways. _

_ “Yamaguchi, you’re shaking like a rabbit staring death in the eyes. What’s the matter, babe?” Yamaguchi froze. He knew Tsukki called him that since they met. It was a term of endearment for the two, but right now it made him feel trapped under layers and layers of unrequited love and hoping and tearing down walls. _

_ “...you” Yamaguchi whispered, but Tsukki only caught the last word. He turned and looked at Yamaguchi, who had his eyes squeezed shut, his face not being able to be seen by Tsukki. _

_ “I can’t hear you, Yamaguchi. You need to speak up.” Tsukki said a matter of factly, removing his arm and turning fully towards his best friend. Yamaguchi opened his eyes and turned his head, so his temple rested on one knee. Looking at him, Yamaguchi felt his eyes water. He was perfect - he was everything to Yamaguchi. Why would he sacrifice this friendship for someone he was sure was straight? Because the feeling of unrequited love hurts more than anything. _

_ “I love you.” Yamaguchi said loud and clear, choking up a bit afterwards. Before Tsukki could even react, Yamaguchi continued, squeezing his eyes and talking from his heart. _

_ “I’ve loved you forever, Tsukki. I love seeing you everyday, I love studying with you, I love hugging you and sleeping over at your house during those really really hot summer nights. I love the way you focus so much on something that’s important and I love how you’re there for me. I love standing by your side and how you bring out the best in me. I love  _ you _ , Tsukki. I love you so much, please… make it stop hurting.” By the time Yamaguchi finished, he was hyperventilating. Tsukki sat there, wide eyed, watching his friend go off on the tangent. Tsukki watched his best friend crumble, every wall he worked so hard to put up falling down on top of him. It took Tsukki a few seconds of comprehension to realize that Yamaguchi  _ loved him _ , in a way he wouldn’t be able to love him back. _

_ Tsukki’s mouth opened partially. He wanted to say something, he wanted to comfort the panicked boy. Yamaguchi’s hyperventilating was escalating into a full blown panic attack. Tsukki raised his hand, to comfort him, but flinched, remembering his words. He didn’t want to hurt him more. He didn’t want to hurt his best friend, who was in love with him. How stupid could Yamaguchi be? Love Tsukki? He’s a boy. They’re both boys, and even though Tsukki knew Yamaguchi was bicurious, they’d gone over that Tsukki was straight. _

_ Yamaguchi didn’t notice the small motions Tsukki made. Yamaguchi was focused on the floor, waiting for Tsukki’s answer, but none came. Finally, Yamaguchi turned shakily towards the blond boy only to feel the tears lining his eyes fall over when he saw the look of hurt and guilt plastered on Tsukki’s face, his eyes looking at the floor, but his head was facing Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi let out a small squeak, raising a hand to cover his mouth. Blinking rapidly, Yamaguchi stood up, not facing Tsukki. Taking a deep breath, Yamaguchi slapped both of his hands on his face hard, mimicking what he had saw Tanaka once do. He heard Tsukki try to fit a few words in before Yamaguchi could dash out of his bedroom, but he was gone before he could say he was sorry. _

 

Yamaguchi bristled when he heard footsteps, but his anxiety was eased when he saw Yachi lay next to him, staring at the sky as well. He had told Yachi the mess that had happened right after it happened, since he was out as bisexual to her. She was out as lesbian to him as well - and he was well aware of her crush on Kiyoko. Yachi gently placed her hand on his, and patted it. Yamaguchi let out a sigh, tears falling from the farther corner of his eyes.

“You’ll get through this, Yama. You’ll power through and you’ll find someone new who loves you.” Yachi said softly, though you could hear the second hand pain that she felt for Yamaguchi in her voice. “You’ll find someone better than trashyshima.” She added with a hint of laughter in her voice, but Yamaguchi’s laugh afterwards was empty. He didn’t want anybody else. He’s wanted Tsukki his whole life-

“Yamaguchi! Do you think you could pinch serve?” Yamaguchi’s thoughts were interrupted by the familiar ring of Hinata’s voice. Yachi sat up and denied for him, and he silently thanked her for that. Hinata seemed disappointed, but he left them alone.

Yachi didn’t lay back down, and Yamaguchi opened his eyes slightly, looking at the blond girl. The setting sun accentuated her clean skin and natural hair.

“You have to either get closure, or move on without it. Good luck, Yama.” Yachi said blankly, before standing up, brushing herself off and moving back towards the gym. Yamaguchi only let out a loud sigh, rolling back and jumping to his feet. Following Yachi, he walked into the gym, with only Coach Ukai and Tsukki noticing his arrival. Grabbing his stuff, he told Ukai that he didn’t feel well, and would like to leave practice early.

“That’s alright kiddo! Do you think you’ll be here tomorrow morning?” He asked heartily.  _ You can’t avoid him forever. _

Yamaguchi nodded, humming his response. Ukai smiled, and went back to watching the practice match. Yamaguchi readjusted his bag, shooting a side glance at Tsukki, whose eyes followed him across the sidelines as he exited the gym.

 

**___________________**

 

“Yamaguchi was pretty quiet today during practice.” Hinata commented innocently, mostly directing his curiosity at Tsuki. The two were usually glued by the hip, so Tsukki couldn’t blame Hinata’s prying, but it still was annoying.

“I guess. He said he didn’t feel good though.” Tsuki brushed off the other comments Hinata made, following Tanaka and Kageyama to the clubroom. Every step made him feel guiltier for not speaking to Yamaguchi lastnight, or at all today, and now he was at home and Tsuki had no interest in going over now. It was likely that Yamaguchi would digress into his typically quiet and anxious self, rather than his snarky and mildly outgoing attitude he’s held while he’s been friends with Tsuki. Clicking his tongue, he followed the rest of them into the clubroom, mindlessly joking around.

“Oh yeah!” Hinata said, his face lighting up. He set down his phone, and looked around the boys. “Guess who Kenma’s dating!”

“Kenma? You mean number five from Nekoma’s team?” Tsuki asked, looking up from buttoning his pants.

“Yeah! Apparently Kuroo asked him out the other night. They look really cute together.” Hinata smiled widely and while the rest of the room reacted, Tsuki threw his bag over his shoulder and grabbed his phone, waving as he walked out the door. He didn’t bother saying goodbye or waiting for anybody - he didn’t really have anybody to wait for. He felt a pang in his chest, but he pressed through, quickly scaling the stairs down to ground level.

Tsuki was surprised when he saw Coach Ukai and Yamaguchi sitting outside the foothill store, chatting. When Yamaguchi noticed Tsuki, he stood up abruptly. Coach Ukai stood up like an old man, nodded at Tsuki, and started heading inside. Yamaguchi ran up to Tsuki’s side, walking in pace with him down the road. It was silent for the most part, the occasional distant laughter of Tanaka or Hinata finally coming down the hill towards the store, and the sound of Cicadas settling for the night. Finally, Yamaguchi broke the silence.

“So you’re 100% sure you’re straight?” His voice was small, but it was firm. Tsuki suddenly wondered how many people knew about what happened - Ukai probably knew, that’s likely what the two were talking about. He knew Yachi knew that Yamaguchi was bicurious, but did she know about what happened?

“Tsuki.” Yamaguchi reminded him, and Tsuki let out a loud exhale, scratching the back of his neck.

“I’m sure.”

Yamaguchi nodded slowly, then looked brightfully at Tsuki.

“Can we still be good friends? And do everything we used to do without it being awkward?” His voice was hopeful, but the underlying sound of rejection scraped at Tsuki like a knife. He broke Yamaguchi’s heart, but there was nothing he could do. It wasn’t a choice. Tsuki couldn’t bring himself to just… like boys, overnight. It didn’t work like that. Tsuki nodded, his voice tapering off as he responded.

“Of course, Yama.” Tsuki paused, and looked at Yamaguchi. “So who knows, about,” clearing his voice, Tsuki continued, “about last night?”

Yamaguchi slowed down to consider, putting a finger to his chin thoughtfully.

“Yachi does, I told her afterwards.”  _ Of course. _ “Kuroo knows, I told him too because we both decided to confess the same night.” Tsuki flinched, realizing that Kuroo wasn’t rejected.  _ Asshole. _ “Coach Ukai does, that’s what we were talking about…”  _ Okay, and who else? _ “I think that’s it, unless Kenma knows. I’m not sure though.” Tsukki nodded, looking at the sky.

“Yamaguchi, I’m so-”

“Don’t apologize, Tsuki. I know it isn’t your fault. I’m glad I got that off my chest though. It’s nice to have closure.” Tsuki only smiled down at Yamaguchi, who held a hand up to his chest, and stared at the sky. “I don’t think I’d be able to love anybody else without it.”

**Author's Note:**

> yikes


End file.
